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Flora's avatar

Thank you for writing this.

I once read a novel called A Gentleman in Moscow and I made a note of these lines. The writer is referring about the main character who has lost a loved one.

“[the character in the book] can never again walk Neskey Street without feeling an unbearable sense of loss. And that is how it should be. That sense of loss is exactly what we must anticipate, prepare for, and cherish to the last of our days; for it is only our heartbreak that finally refutes all that is ephemeral in love.”

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Dru Jaeger's avatar

I'm not sure we're meant to undo the contradictions. I lost my mum when I was a child, and I've lived a long time in death's strange shadow. Yet life continues to be good in so many remarkable ways.

I love this insight from Francis Weller's The Wild Edge of Sorrow: "The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give."

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